I'll Meet You in the Back
by WhatAmIDoingWitMyLife
Summary: Clexa Bartender AU. Lexa can't resist the blonde forever, Anya won't let her. Smut. Previously a one shot. Now with a little angst.
1. Chapter 1

_AN: This is Unbeta'd and inspired from this AU i found on tumblr-_

 _"You are the super cute barkeeper in the club I always party at with my girls and you always wink at me and make my knees go weak but I don't know if it's just me or if you wink at everybody AU"_

* * *

Drinks held in a white knuckled grip Lexa makes her way through the club. She practically slams the glasses down, before sliding one of the drinks across the small round table. Brown eyes scrutinize Lexa's face, lips pulling a sip from her straw. "The cute one working again?" Anya asks smirk teasing on her lips.

"She winked at me again," Lexa answers, blush still heating her cheeks.

"Did she now?"

"Yes."

"You should talk to her."

"No. She's probably just being nice."

"Lexa," Anya's voice is almost condescending paired with the roll of her eyes.

"She's really friendly," taking a large gulp from her drink Lexa scans the packed dance floor. The bass of the music felt throughout her veins. "I swear you're hopeless sometimes." Eyes having locked onto a target, her drink is forgotten as Anya walks away with a swing of her hips. Nursing her drink Lexa chances a glance back at the cute bartender. The girl grinning as she pushes the person she was talking to away from the bar with a laugh.

o-o-o-o

Lexa wasn't nervous. Lexa was a mature adult. One who could handle speaking to cute bartenders and order drinks without incident. The wobble of her knees had nothing to do with the girl behind the bar who's smiling face made Lexa feel things she swore she'd never feel again. Without pretense the blonde says, "I love that top. Your boobs look great. Where'd you get it?"

"Oh, um, I…" Yup. She was an adult with a master of the English language. "I don't remember anymore," Lexa finally spits out. Hopefully her blush was hidden by the darkness of the club. Fists on the counter she watches the blonde mix different liquors into the cup. "All well. It looks great on you. Almost as good as that skirt." And there was that smirk and wink combination that sent a rush of heat throughout Lexa's body. "Thanks," she mumbles. Looking away from blue eyes she slides her card onto the wooden surface. Chilled fingers are on top of her own, pushing her hand back gently. Eyes snapping to the blonde's, Lexa begins to question but is cut off by the words, "On the house." Biting her lip she almost objects. But the smile on the girl's pink lips changes her mind. Nodding Lexa only allows herself a couple more seconds to soak up the feeling of her hands on her own before grabbing her drink and escaping through the crowd of grinding bodies. This time when she returns to the table Indra and her small shadow of a football teammate, Octavia, are standing there. Handing the drink to Indra she gives Octavia a nod before asking, "Anya still out there?"

"Yup. The dude she's dancing with is in no way prepared for her," Octavia snorts. Lexa debates going out to find Anya but gets distracted when Octavia exclaims, "Sweet. Clarke's working tonight. Looks like shots are on me," then runs off to the bar. Green eyes follow her.

"Careful Lexa. You keep staring like that, the girl is going to think you return her feelings." Indra drops her cup into Lexa's hands before walking off. Despite Indra's warning Lexa continues to stare at Clarke. Watching as her familiarity with Octavia plays out before her eyes. When Octavia finally comes shuffling back, five shots held precariously between her fingers, Lexa's eyes catch Clarke's quickly. The blonde giving her a wave. "I didn't know you knew Clarke," Octavia says setting the glasses down. Taking her shot she pushes two to Lexa. "I don't."

"Well Clarke gave me this second shot for you. Said to tell you she thinks you need to loosen up." Lips thinning Lexa looks up at Clarke who is still watching her. Knocking the shot back she holds eye contact. Pointedly pushing the second back to Octavia she says, "Tell her I'm fine."

"Damn. Okay," she takes the shot, "Clarke's gotta step her game up I see."

"Excuse me?"

"Clarke's flirting is always painful to watch. I keep telling her she can't keep banking on free drinks being the key to getting the girl," Finger tracing the rim of the now empty glass Octavia turns to look at Clarke. No longer looking at them the bartender was busy making a drink. Lexa keeps her face neutral. But on the inside the fluttering of her stomach has increased. The cute bartender _had_ been flirting with her. Anya was going to be insufferable. Nails nipping at her palms Lexa can't help but search for blue eyes across the room again. "Unless…it worked. Do you like her?" Octavia's bright green eyes searched Lexa's.

"Of course not."

"I can totally give you her number," the excitement in Octavia's eyes was equivalent to that of a puppy's tail wagging. Rather than respond Lexa turns away from Octavia. Deciding now was as good a time as any to look for Anya.

o-o-o-o

As the shout for Last Call is proclaimed through the speakers, an overheated and sweaty Lexa pulls away from Anya. Whose, "Go get Blondie," is her only acknowledgement that she lost her dancing partner. Rolling her eyes Lexa continues walking towards the bar. She pushes through other sticky bodies. Second-guessing her need for a cup of water once she reaches the over crowded bar. She has to elbow her way to the counter. Not caring who she annoys. "You didn't take my shot."

"I didn't order it."

"True. What _would_ you like then?"

"Water please."

"That it?"

"Yes."

"Alright," Clarke watches Lexa through the corner of her eyes as she takes her time filling the cup. As she hands it to Lexa she asks, "So. If I were to ask for your number you would say…?"

"I'm not interested," Lexa hopes her face looks uninterested.

"I don't believe you."

"What?"

"You've been staring at me all night," Clarke says leaning her chin on her hand. The smug grin on her face making Lexa clench her jaw. "Maybe it's because you've been staring at me all night."

"Can't deny that."

"So why would I want to give my number to some stranger that stares at me all night."

"Cause I'm cute," Clarke grins. Unable to deny that fact, instead of answering Lexa takes a prolonged sip of her water. Clarke's grin only becomes brighter. She opens her mouth, no doubt about to say something witty when a guy comes up beside Lexa shouting, "Nother beer please!" He would have bumped into Lexa however she quickly used him as an excuse to leave. Not noticing Clarke's pout. Walking back over to her friends she knows she's in trouble. Anya is looking at her with a harsh stare and crossed arms. Taking one last sip she hands the half full cup of water to Anya. Giving a nod in thanks Anya drinks the rest in one gulp before saying, "You're pathetic."

"Am not," Lexa crosses her arms.

"The girl made a move didn't she."

"So what if she di—Ow! " Anya smacks the back of Lexa's head before her response is even fully out of her mouth.

"Have I taught you nothing?" Anya crosses her arms again, this time with a shake of her head.

"I'm not looking for anything right now," Lexa shrugs moving to lean on the table. She pulls out her phone looking at the time. Just ten more minutes and she can be in her bed.

"And you don't have to be. But you _need_ to get laid, badly, and something tells me that girl has no problems doing it."

"No I don't," Lexa almost squeaks face reddening.

"You do. Hey, you girl," Anya snaps her fingers at Octavia.

"You can use my name," Octavia glares.

"Yes I could. You know the bartender right?"

"Clarke? Yeah. Why?"

"She good in bed?"

"What? Ew. I don't know. Maybe. She's like my sister," Octavia replies trying not to gag.

"I'm not sleeping with her Anya," hand covering her eyes Lexa would rather not have this conversation.

"Oh, is that why you're asking? Ignore what I said, Clarke's amazing." Rolling her eyes Lexa looks away from Octavia's shit eating grin. "If you want her number I'm serious I'll give it to you."

"No thank you."

"She'll take it."

"Anya." The lights in the club turn back on. Music fading out. The mass of bodies quickly start piling towards the exits. Arm wrapping around Lexa Anya drags her away. "Stop thinking so much and just do something because you want to." With that Anya shoves Lexa through the "Employees Only" door. Stumbling through the door Lexa would have fallen to the ground if it wasn't for the hands that grabbed her arms. "You aren't allowed back here," a masculine voice says. Quickly righting herself Lexa apologizes, cursing Anya. "Miller wait. She's with me," comes a familiar voice. Clarke comes walking around the corner grin on her face. Straightening the beanie on his head he gives both girls a suspicious look before rolling his eyes. As he walks away he says, "Don't get caught this time Griffin."

"Aye aye," she salutes. Laughing she jogs over to Lexa who had turned around to leave. Walking in front of Lexa, blocking the door, Clarke says, "Fancy seeing you here? Did you change your mind?"

"No." Lexa now curses the butterflies in her stomach. Clarke must have applied some lipstick or lip-gloss or something. Lexa's eyes couldn't help but glance down, watching Clarke's lips as she talked. When Clarke licks them a second later Lexa's stomach drops. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," Lexa swallows.

"Okay. Well at least let me show you the back way out. Trust me you don't want to try leaving that way." Clarke places her hand on Lexa's shoulder for a second to nudge her around. The tingles of electricity in Lexa's arm from her touch didn't mean anything. "So I haven't actually gotten your name you know," Clarke says.

"Octavia hasn't told you about me yet?"

"She might have. But that doesn't change the fact I haven't heard it from you."

"Lexa."

"Nice to meet you Lexa, I'm Clarke," stopping she holds out her hand with a smile. Lexa stares at Clarke's hand then looks up at her face, "Hi Clarke." Clarke waves her hand pointedly. Rolling her eyes Lexa tries not to smile as she mutters, "Fine," taking Clarke's hand into her own, giving it a small shake. "Now that we've introduced ourselves…can I have your number?"

"Really," Lexa deadpans.

"We're not strangers anymore," she grins before turning, "Hold on, I have to get my jacket." The blonde disappears into a room. Leaving Lexa to stand and contemplate why she isn't just saying yes. Giving the girl her phone number isn't really that big of a deal. And Anya will probably badger her about it until she finally relents anyways. Not to mention Octavia. (Why does Indra let the girl come out with them anyways?) Clarke comes walking out of the room, jacket slung over her shoulder. Anya's words repeat themselves in Lexa's brain. "Okay," Lexa says as Clarke turns out the lights. Face scrunched Clarke asks, "Okay what?"

"You can have my number."

"Seriously," Clarke asks surprised.

Nodding Lexa says, "Give me your phone," she pulls hers out, nearly dropping it when Clarke reaches into her bra to get hers. The flash of cleavage enough to stop brain functioning. Clarke pulling Lexa's phone from her hands with a grin is what brings Lexa back to the world. Clearing her throat she takes the phone that was waiting in front of her. Putting her name and number into it. When she looks up she meets dark blue eyes. "That shirt _really_ is amazing on you," Clarke says, hand trailing down Lexa's arm before taking her phone from Lexa by threading their fingers together. Swallowing Lexa looks away. Detangling their hands as she backs away from Clarke. The blonde's grin eliciting butterflies. After a few deep breaths she looks back at Clarke. Whose eyes were heating Lexa's skin with just a look. Green eyes flicker towards tempting lips as Lexa takes another step back. "Thanks," she says, not really remembering why she was thanking the girl. This time Clarke advances. "So, Lexa," Clarke takes Lexa's hands into hers again. Playing with Lexa's fingers as she says, "Want to go out sometime?" Lexa stuttered a bit. Unable to come up with a coherent answer while trying to convince herself she didn't love the feeling of Clarke's hands in hers. The press of the solid wall behind her back did nothing to steady her voice. "I only just got your number. Don't you think we should text a bit before going out?" Face turned away from Clarke's, she could feel the girl's breath on her cheek. Clarke presses closer but keeps enough space between them so that their hands are the only place they're touching. But heat was radiating off of Clarke's skin and warming Lexa's body. It was calling Lexa to lean forward. To bring them closer. "I'm not asking you out right now. Just sometime in the future."

"Um," their noses brush as Lexa looks Clarke in the eyes. The pit of her stomach does a flip. Lexa's brain tries vehemently to remind her that giving into her feelings was weakness. She should walk away. She needs to. "I'm not looking for anything serious," Lexa whispers. Removing her hands from Clarke's she let's them rest on Clarke's hips. The tension between pulling Clarke closer or pushing her away causing her arms to tremble. Seeing the smirk on Clarke's mouth, Lexa nervously licks her bottom lip. Arms slip smoothly around Lexa's neck as Clarke husks, "Who said I was?"

Breathing out her nose Lexa decides "Fuck it" pushing her lips onto Clarke's. Fingers digging into the girl's waist. Pulling her forward. Clarke smiles into the kiss. Knocking their teeth together. Clarke pushes Lexa into the wall to kiss her harder. Fingers run through and pull at Lexa's loose hair.

Long fingers slide up a waist to a rib cage. Clarke breaks their kiss with a breathy sigh. Feeling Clarke's ribcage expand and contract with her breaths Lexa takes Clarke's bottom lip, sucking on it and biting it swollen. At some point in time she must have closed her eyes because when she opens them again she's looking into Clarke's lust darkened irises. Mouth opened the words Lexa was going to say are lost. Having morphed into a groan. Lexa tilts her head, giving Clarke more access to her neck where she was trailing her tongue and opened mouth kisses. When teeth bite onto her throbbing pulse Lexa gasps. Nails biting back into Clarke's skin.

Lexa feels the smirk of lips as they kiss their way to her collarbone. Not one to be outdone Lexa brings her fingers up to what feels like a very nice bra. Flicking it undone with ease she brings one hand back around to push passed a cup. Palming the breast underneath Lexa lets her thumb brush around and then press into a hardened nipple. "Oh God," Clarke breathes. Grabbing Lexa by the shirt Clarke backed them into the dark room. Jacket and phones falling to the floor.

Quickly Clarke pushes the brunette back up against a wall and kisses her sloppily. It was Lexa's turn to smirk into their kiss. A smirk which was quickly removed as a jean clad leg inserted itself between her thighs. A hand making sure to drag her skirt up so that the leg was pressing into her. Only blocked from her skin by a pair thin cotton panties. Breath quickening she was no longer sure where she wanted her hands. Let them continue to tease soft breasts or push that leg deliciously closer to where she needed it. Her question is answered for her when Clarke pulls their hips closer together. Starting a torturously slow rhythm.

Breaking the kiss to let out a sharp breath Lexa starts pulling up Clarke's shirt. Clarke raises her arms. When she's free of the garment she throws her unclasped bra off to the side. Before Lexa can even appreciate Clarke's upper body, her lips are captured. Bare breasts are pressing into her clothed ones. "Clarke, my shirt." Kissing Lexa's jaw Clarke wastes no time pulling the shirt up. She barely separates their bodies. Continuing to rob Lexa of what it sure to be a beautiful sight. Lips wrap around her collarbone sucking until marks are left. Fingers brush up Lexa's shuddering stomach. They change course, gripping onto Lexa's hips as lips trail on top of a still bra covered chest. Lexa's right hand fists in Clarke's soft hair. Other hand trying to grip onto the wall. Nudging the bra aside with her nose Clarke continues to kiss around where she can reach. To Lexa's displeasure Clarke's mouth is just shy of her areola. Which is quickly driving Lexa insane. Lexa's head knocks back into the wall not too softly before she growls, "Clarke. Take. It. Off."

"My pleasure," blue eyes glitter. Once the torture device was discarded instead of returning to what she was doing Clarke brings their bare chests together. Both girls moan. Letting their foreheads rest together for a moment Lexa closes her eyes, kissing Clarke softly. Nipples pressing into hers break the spell. Flipping them around Lexa's mouth eagerly meshes with Clarke's. One hand toying with a rosy nipple while the other rests on the button of Clarke's jeans.

When Lexa pauses for too long Clarke starts to undo her pants. Three hands then working together to get them off of wobbly legs. When shoes are kicked off and pants are on the ground Clarke doesn't let Lexa pause again, instead she guides Lexa's hand beneath the band of her supergirl underwear. Lexa wants to comment on them but the brush of fingers through wet curls, and the intake of breath it causes from Clarke is enough of a distraction. Biting her lip Lexa runs a finger through wet folds. This time causing Clarke's whole body to shudder. Middle finger repeating the action Clarke's grip on her back becomes bruising.

"Mmgod," Clarke breathes. Her lips brush the corner of Lexa's. Pulling back slightly Lexa's watches Clarke's face as she gently pinches the girl's clit. Clarke's head falls back, mouth opened in a silent moan. Green eyes taking everything about the beautiful girl in. Lexa was quickly diving way over her head. But it was too late to stop now. Cheeks almost as flushed as Clarke's Lexa kisses down Clarke's neck. Fingers swirling around Clarke's opening. Becoming nice and wet. As she eases one finger inside, Clarke is grabbing a fist full of hair and knocking their teeth together in a painful kiss. The pain of the kiss is nothing compared to the feeling of Clarke around her finger. Lexa feels her own underwear dampen. Pushing her finger in to the first and then second knuckle Lexa is gasping with Clarke when she slides it back out, before pushing it back in again. Their kissing becomes sloppy. More tongue than lips as Lexa focuses on building a rhythm. Similarly Clarke can't focus on much more than the finger moving inside her. When a second finger joins the first Clarke is certain she's going to collapse. The chest pinning hers to the wall might be the only reason she was still standing.

After a couple well placed strokes Clarke is biting Lexa's lips. And if the indignant squeak means anything Clarke is certain she almost broke through skin. She licks the abused lip hoping to soothe it some. But as her body begins to tremble she's less concerned about Lexa's lip and more concerned with Lexa's body. Shaky fingers pull Lexa's skirt up, after few attempts, bringing the band from the girl's waist to her stomach. Clarke presses her fingers on the outside of Lexa's underwear, feeling the pulses of her clit. Lexa's moan is one of encouragement. Clarke's fingers soon meeting the bundle of nerves, flesh to flesh. Lexa's hips buck. Lexa's movement inside Clarke is altered. Her palm brushing Clarke's own clit. Clarke almost comes right there. Biting into Lexa's shoulder this time Clarke groans deeply. Pinching and rubbing the clitoris between her fingers Clarke wants Lexa as worked up as she is. And it doesn't take long. Both girls covered in sweat and panting it was Lexa who brought their hips together. Their hands pushed together. Both of Lexa's fingers sliding to the second knuckle and Clarke's fingers graze Lexa's entrance as her thumb circles firmly on Lexa's clit. Gripping onto the other like they were each other's life lines their bodies shudder in unison. Lexa feeling the fluttering of muscles around her fingers, bringing her to a second orgasm.

o-o-o-o

Green eyes open, meeting bright baby blues. Clarke was grinning ear to ear. Nearly naked body on top of Lexa's. "When did we get on the floor?" Lexa asks. She tries her hardest to keep the smile off of her lips. But the happy tingles still floating around her body brought it out anyways. "Mmm…somewhere between you pulling your fingers out from me and me biting your ear."

"You bit my ear?" Lexa reaches up hand covering her left ear before she can even question if that was the correct one.

"Yeeeah…sorry," leaning down Clarke kisses Lexa on the lips again. Still grinning she adds, "We should probably get dressed now. My boss is probably locking up and as fun as being locked in here with you would be. I rather not get caught by him again."

"Again?"

Clarke shrugs. Sitting up Lexa takes a moment to appreciate the body that was on top of her. Even in the dark of the room Lexa knows Clarke is beautiful. Not dwelling on the thought she begins reaching around for her clothes. Fortunate that only her upper half was naked. She tosses Clarke's pants back at the girl before finding her bra. The air between them was surprisingly not awkward. Clarke handing Lexa her shirt before slipping her own over her head. "So. Would it be presumptuous of me to ask if we can do this again sometime? Maybe after a date?"

"Uuuh," Lexa looks at Clarke with wide eyes.

"Think about it," Clarke says grabbing Lexa's hand. Leading her out of the room. Grabbing her forgotten jacket Clarke leads the open mouthed girl to the exit of the club.

Holding the door open for Lexa Clarke says, "And here we are." Fresh air hitting Lexa in the face she finally musters up the answer, "You know you've got my number now so I guess we'll see what happens next."

"That we will," Clarke winks handing Lexa her phone. Taking it Lexa wonders if she'll ever stop blushing from that wink. Waving goodbye Lexa rushes out of the back alley. Only now realizing that Anya was her ride home.

Unlocking her phone she's only slightly surprised to see a new text from 'Clarke ;)' what is more concerning is the 6 texts from Anya and 1 from Indra. Opening Anya's she regrets it instantly when the last text says "YOU BETTER BE HAVING SEX" Shaking her head she decides Indra's message is the better option. "We'll be waiting for you by Jimmy Johns." Nodding to herself Lexa changes directions heading to Drunk Anya's favorite sandwich stop.

Waiting outside of the shop was Anya. She was twirling her keys around her fingers. Hearing footsteps she looks up. Looking at Lexa the grin on her face becomes feral. "That's my girl," she laughs punching Lexa in the shoulder.

"Shut up."

"Feel better now?"

"Quiet."

"I told you she'd do you. Was she good?"

"Anya."

"I dropped Indra and Octavia at their places already, you know. You took so long _Indra_ became impatient. She was good wasn't she?"

"Anya, please. Do we have to talk about this," Lexa says opening the car door and sitting down. Covering her face she knows this will be a long car ride. "Uh, yes, " Anya grins starting the car, "I want to hear everything." Lexa can only groan.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Firstly Happy New Year! Hope you've all had happy and safe holidays :) Second, Whoever wanted more. I found inspiration for more. More smut and now some angst. I'm already halfway done with the last chapter so hopefully you all won't be waiting for long.**

 **as always feel free to review or pm me about mistakes**

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Legs shudder around Lexa's head. Lexa's body being the only reason Clarke was still upright against the wall. Fingers tangled in brown hair pull (quite painfully) at the strands from their roots. More concerned with pushing the shaking body above hers over the edge, Lexa doesn't mind the pain. "Oh god," Clarke moans, "I'm close. So close. Mmmfffuck." Clarke's head falls back. Smacking against the wall. Tongue moving inside Clarke, Lexa feels the first spasms of muscles. Lapping up the increased spill of juices from Clarke. Vibrations from Lexa's own moan spreads tingles throughout Clarke. Triggering another pull of wavy hair. More curses falling from Clarke's lips. As the last trembles run their course Lexa kisses flushed inner thighs. Smug smirk on her face she adds a few bites into the mix. With a grunt Clarke releases brown hair only to smack Lexa's head lightly. "That hurt."

"Sorry." As she rises from her knees, hands holding Clarke by the waist Lexa's smirk never leaves.

"No you're not," Clarke rolls her eyes.

"Nope." Moving away from the blonde Lexa starts to gather discarded clothing from the dark room. Pulling her shirt on quickly before handing Clarke hers. After shimmying skinny jeans back up her legs Clarke takes the shirt. "Same time next week?" Clarke asks jokingly. She leads Lexa through the back hallways. Directions that Lexa had memorized weeks ago. Shrugging Lexa replies, "If Indra and Octavia win their game next week you can count on it."

"Alright. Just text me if you don't end up going out. That way I can plan on leaving work on time." The wink she gives Lexa causes an unnecessary blush to start on Lexa's cheeks. Hoping it wasn't noticeable Lexa retorts, "I don't remember you complaining about leaving work late any of the other times you pulled me back here."

"I'm not complaining," opening the exit door she lets Lexa walk out first, "Just pointing out the fact I am now regularly the last employee to be leaving this building."

"Well, your boss is actually the last person to leave so, at least you're doing better than him." As they continue to walk together towards Clarke's car Lexa is conscious of the distance between them. Doing her best to catch herself when she begins to move too close to the blonde. Walking up to the vehicle Lexa shoves her hands into her pockets. "Anya is probably waiting for me."

"Okay. See you later," Clarke smiles, unlocking her car door.

"Bye." Before Lexa can fully turn around Clarke calls, "Wait, actually. I was wondering if you might want to hang out…like sometime this week?" Whole body freezing Lexa can only look at Clarke through the side of her eyes. Knowing from experience Clarke's sheepish expression is hard to turn down. Green eyes focus on a pair of drunk people across the street, wobbling their way down the sidewalk. "This week isn't good for me. I have tests."

"Alright, maybe another time?" If Lexa was looking at Clarke she'd see the hint of disappointment in Clarke's eyes.

"Maybe," Lexa offers quickly taking her leave.

o-o-o-o

A few weeks later Lexa is back in the club. Neon lights flashing all around. Music flowing through her veins. But, even dancing with Anya her eyes never fail to float back towards the bar. Catching Clarke dutifully making drinks or talking to people. Sometimes Lexa would catch Clarke's gaze and earn a brilliant smile. "You know, if you want to talk to her all you have to do is go over there," Anya says, body stilling during the gap between songs.

"That is unnecessary," Lexa replies. Hips still moving with the music, she continues to dance. Pretending she's unfazed by Anya's words. "You'll be fucking her in a few hours right? Talking to her now is the least of your issues."

"I thought you were happy that I'm finally getting laid?" Lengthy limps still.

"I am. Trust me. You've been dry for too long. But you've been acting childish. Just talk to the girl."

"I have no need to talk to her. Our relationship is purely physical. Why waste time with false pleasantries."

"Because they wouldn't be false," the roll of brown eyes is followed by a chug of her rum and coke, "When you stop looking at Blondie every two seconds then maybe I'll believe you aren't interested."

"I'm not. I don't want anything serious."

"If you say so." The clench of Lexa's jaw is the only indication of her unspoken reply, _I'm not._

Having found a table to sit down at Lexa was sipping on her drink idly. Anya was off dancing on someone. And as much as she hated to admit it Lexa wasn't in the mood to find someone of her own to grind on. If she were to be honest she'd admit that she wanted to be dancing with Clarke. But that thought was buried as soon as it was exposed. She didn't need Clarke. She was fine by herself. This song was stupid anyways.

"This is last call! Last call for alcohol!" Fingers tap impatiently against the wood of the crowded bar. Shoved into the corner, cramped next to the wall, Lexa stood. Anya by her side. Nearly falling over the counter Anya had her cleavage out, trying to get either one of the bartenders' attention. When the moppy dark-haired boy came walking over to take Anya's order, the sigh that was released through Lexa's nose could have been from disappointment or relief. When the shot of vodka was held in front of her face Lexa didn't hesitate to drink it. Setting the glass back down on the bar, she watches Anya drink her second shot before she is being dragged back out to the dance floor. Green eye catching blue for just a moment.

As the music dies down and bodies are shoving towards the exit, Lexa leads Anya up the stairs. She looks at the bar. Clarke nowhere to be seen. Debating with herself if it was really smart to go back and meet Clarke, a pinch to her arm breaks her thoughts. "The Employee's door is over there," Anya says as they continue to walk towards the exit of the club.

"What if you were right earlier? What if I am starting to become interested in her. Maybe I should stop this now."

Anya pinches her again in the same spot.

"Ow! Anya!"

"Don't be a baby. Go to Clarke."

"I—

"If you don't I'm punching you this time." Glaring at the older woman Lexa unlinks their arms. Knowing that Anya wasn't kidding. "You're an ass."

"I am. But you love me for it." Shaking her head Lexa turns away to hide her grin. Moving against the crowd it takes a few minutes to reach the swinging door labeled "Employee's Only". She quickly moves out of the kitchen-type area. Moving towards the backrooms hoping to run into Clarke and avoid all other workers. As she turns a corner she has to quickly slip through an open door. Clarke was speaking with the dark haired bartender at the end of the hall. Suddenly nervous Lexa curses Anya for making her come back there. Their footsteps come closer and she hears Clarke say, "Octavia is a big girl, she can take care of herself."

"Yeah, but that doesn't stop me from worrying."

"I know. But you gotta trust her."

"I do," he grumbles unconvincingly. Lexa's eyes close and she holds her breath. The footsteps pause outside the doorway. Back pressed against the wall she hopes the darkness of the room keeps her camouflaged. "Good. Oh by the way, she texted and says she needs a ride from Jasper's," Clarke laughs.

"Of course. See you later."

"See ya." One set of footsteps walks away from the door. Lexa cracks her eyes open when a grinning voice says, "I didn't think you were coming back tonight."

"I wasn't."

"What made you change your mind?"

"Anya."

"Really? Well, send her my thanks," smiling Clarke takes Lexa's fingers. Pulling Lexa away from the wall. The quickening of Lexa's breaths brings a glimmer of mischief to her eyes. Wrapping Lexa's hands around her waist Clarke brings their faces together. Kissing Lexa innocently while her hands grab onto her waist. Fingers then play with the waist of Lexa's jeans. Producing shudders when the light brush of fingers hit bare skin. "So, how was your night?" Clarke asks moving her kisses to Lexa's neck.

"It was fine. A normal night," Lexa exhales.

"See anybody cute?"

"Not particularly," Lexa grins.

"Not even the bartenders? I hear they're pretty hot here?" Clarke stops her kisses. Fingers instead slipping up Lexa's shirt. Lexa bites back a noise, Clarke's fingers colder than expected. "I've seen hotter," Lexa replies straight faced.

"Rude," Clarke laughs squeezing the waist between her fingers. Lexa squirms a bit but is unable to escape when Clarke's lips are on top of hers again. The kiss quickly becomes more heated. Lexa choosing to open her mouth to Clarke, while bringing their bodies closer together. Soon Clarke is pushing Lexa backwards. Enjoying the grunt Lexa makes as her back is pushed against the wall. Hands cup Clarke's face. Lexa taking Clarke's bottom lip between her teeth.

Smiling Clarke begins to leaves kisses from the corner of Lexa's mouth, down to her collar. When her hand is on its way down Lexa's pants Clarke freezes. Ears only just picking up on the sounds of footsteps clicking down the hallway and stopping in front of their secluded room. Pushing Lexa away Clarke blushes when a voice says, "Clarke. I see your car in the lot. I'd like to leave sometime soon."

"Gotcha," she squeaks, "I'm leaving right now." Biting her lip she prays that her boss continues to walk. Thankfully he does. Clarke let's out a massive sigh of relief. "That was close," turning to exit the room she adds disappointedly, "Guess the funs over." Against her better judgment Lexa quickly grasps Clarke's arm, stopping Clarke mid-step. Even though Clarke would barely be able to make out Lexa's nervous features in the dark room, Lexa still refrains from looking in Clarke's direction. Hoping her silent offer was understood. "Unless…do you want to come back to my place?"

The smart option would be to say no. To remove her hand from Clarke's arm and forget she even reached out for the girl. Going to Clarke's apartment. Seeing where she lives. Seeing Clarke as more than just a bartender. None of that was part of Lexa's plan for this relationship. Nodding her head Lexa chooses to overlook the grin that captures Clarke's face. Linking their fingers together Clarke pulls Lexa from the room. With her free hand Lexa fishes her phone out her pocket. Going to her messages she texts Anya: _Are you good to drive? I'm going home with Clarke._

 _Oh really_

 _Yes._

 _Have fun ;)_

 _Shut up_

o-o-o-o

 _Want 2 come over?_ Lexa stares at the message on her phone. Trying to convince herself (as she stands outside Clarke's apartment door) that this wasn't a big deal. Having not seen the bartender for weeks the text came out of nowhere. She wasn't even texting the blonde. Taking a calming breath as she hears steps nearing the door, she repeats in her head that this is a booty call. Nothing more. They were going to have sex and Lexa was going to leave. This was just like all of their club rendezvous. Only at Clarke's apartment instead. And in a bed. The door swings open. Clarke grabs Lexa by her shirt crashing their lips together without preamble. Lexa eagerly returns the kiss as she's pulled through the door. Only wondering for a second why Clarke was so enthusiastic. The lock clicks and Clarke's shirt is being removed. Any questions Lexa had are lost when a white bra is thrown to the side.

Fist pressed firmly against her sweaty forehead Lexa moans as Clarke continues to flick her tongue between Lexa's legs. Other hand in Clarke's hair, she both pushes Clarke away and brings her closer. Unsure of which she wanted. Clit hypersensitive, she didn't know if she could handle another orgasm. And yet Clarke was determined to pull it out of her. The hand on her stomach and arm wrapped around her leg kept her trembling body from escaping. "Clarke," she whined. Tugging at blonde hair. Teeth grazed the throbbing bundle of nerves in turn. Hissing Lexa could only shake her head. She was seconds away from exploding. The push of a single finger through her soaked opening did the trick. Back arching from the bed. She groans out what might have been Clarke's name.

As she tried to regain her breath Clarke came crawling up her body. Laying her equally sweaty, naked form down halfway on top of Lexa. She brushed a few sweat soaked locks of hair away from Lexa's forehead. "Sex in a bed is so much better than against a wall with you," Clarke laughs. Lexa can only offer a tired nod. Eyes drooping closed. She doesn't see Clarke's joking expression turn pensive.

When she begins to stir again it's due to feather light kisses making a path up her body. She can't stop the grin from forming on her lips. "She's alive," Clarke laughs.

"Shut up," Lexa replies opening her eyes to see bright blue eyes looking up at her. Another kiss is placed between her breasts. "I was worried I killed you for a second. I think this was a new personal best. What, was that like five in a row?"

Lexa shrugs. It could have been three. She wasn't very concerned with counting them at the time. Eyes closing she allows her hand to idly rub circles on Clarke's smooth back. Not a hundred percent awake she just wanted to bask in her after sex bliss. The soft, repetitive press of pink lips against her skin. The smell of Clarke all around her. Even the weight of Clarke's body on top of hers. It all brought pleasant warmth to her chest. After a moment of just listening to their synchronizing breaths Lexa cracks an eye open. Clarke was making her way back down her body. Currently kissing her left ribcage. "Not that I'm complaining, but why exactly were you so…hm…so fervent earlier?"

Lips still just above her bellybutton. Uncharacteristically serious Clarke mutters, "Can we not talk about it?" Realizing she probably wouldn't like the answer, Lexa nods her acceptance. The shift in mood like a cold chill sweeping through the room. Lexa finally takes note of their positions. To how intimate the passed few minutes had been. Her hand jolts away from Clarke's skin. The last time she was just content to lay in a bed with her lover showering her body with butterfly kisses was with Costia. Suddenly uncomfortable Lexa begins to untangle their bodies. Sitting up so that Clarke is no longer leisurely spread on top of her. "I should go."

"Are you sure? I doubt it's even that late," Clarke responds, turning to lie on her back. Her attempt to take Lexa's hand was denied. "What time is it?" Looking around the room green eyes search for a clock. Finding it her jaw drops open. 10 am. She stayed the whole night. "I spent the night?!"

"To be fair you got here at like 2 am."

"I didn't want to spend the night," she replies, a short way away from panic. Almost falling out of the bed, she scrambles around for any articles of clothing in the bedroom of hers. "What's the rush?" The look in Clarke's eyes was dangerous. It was challenging. Daring Lexa's next words out of her mouth. Not one to back down from a challenge Lexa calmed herself. Slipping on a pair of underwear (that might actually be Clarke's) she breathed, "It's not my place to be here any longer."

"You don't want to take a shower. Or at least get something to eat first?"

"No." Concluding all other articles of clothing were outside of the bedroom she states, "I'll see you later Clarke." She leaves. Hoping the blonde didn't hear the catch of the words in her throat.

o-o-o-o

"You are an idiot. Actually, no, you're a dumbass. An idiot of a dumbass," Anya says after smacking Lexa upside the head.

"I will admit that my actions were unwise."

"Sounds to me like you fled from her apartment like there was a fire. I would be surprised if she even looks at you again." Sipping her beer Anya gives her idiotic friend a quick glance before her eyes return to the tv. "Be that as it may, she has to understand we were acting like a couple. Which we aren't. We crossed a line."

"You're the one who fell asleep," the blonde chuckles.

"It wasn't on purpose," Lexa replies. Cheeks and ears turning pink.

"Of course not. You just got your brains fucked out of you by a gorgeous woman, multiple times mind you, then ran out on her hours later, like a pansy."

"I'm not a pansy."

"Yes you fucking are," turning completely Anya points at Lexa with her beer, "If you don't woman up soon and admit that you like Clarke and want to be her girlfriend, you're going to lose her. I mean if you didn't already."

"I don't want—

"Yes you do Ms. 'she was placing the most tender breaths of kisses across my skin. I was almost in a trance'."

"I didn't say that."

"Yes, you did. I had to hear that sappy shit come from your mouth not even an hour ago."

"Well then you see why I had to leave." Leaning back against the couch Lexa brings an arm up to cover her eyes.

"No."

"Anya."

"If you want to be sappy then be sappy. There's nothing wrong with liking the girl."

"I barely even know her. How could I possibly like her?"

"You're the one falling for your fuck buddy, you explain it to me."

Lexa throws her a glare.

"Tell me I'm wrong."

"You're wrong," Lexa grumbles continuing to glare.

"Try again, I didn't quite believe it." Rolling her eyes at Anya's smirk, Lexa doesn't bother with a verbal response. Instead throwing the closest thing she could find at her friend. Catching the brunette's phone with a chuckle Anya's prepared to give it back when there is a vibration followed by a lit screen. Laughing harder she asks, "So, want to explain to me why Clarke's name still has the winking emoji next to it."

"Give it back," Lexa says sitting up.

"Not until you tell me," Anya grins.

"I never cared enough to change it," Lexa insists rising from her seat.

"Mmmhm."

"It's the truth. I'll change it right now if you want."

"No don't change it because of me," Lexa snatches the phone away, "Hey since you're already standing want to get me another beer?"

"No." Returning to her previous spot Lexa unlocks her phone to read Clarke's text.

"Brat."

"Old woman."

"Pansy."

"I'm not a pansy," Lexa sighs.

o-o-o-o

"Lexa. We need to talk," Clarke says trying to regulate her breathing. Lexa was trailing her lips down Clarke's neck. Having just entered the small apartment. She wasn't interested in talking. It had been too long since she'd seen the blonde. "About what?" She asks between kisses.

"About us."

Lexa steps away from Clarke in a second. Eyes searching Clarke's face. "What about us?" She asks tightly.

"About what we're doing. Where we're going."

"We're two grown woman, who enjoy having sex with each other. What needs to be discussed?" Lexa watches as Clarke walks over to her couch. Fingers pinching the bridge of her adorable nose. "That's exactly what needs to be discussed Lexa. I think we're started to view this relationship differently." Hesitantly Lexa steps around the couch to be facing Clarke. Not yet sure she wanted to sit down. Licking her bottom lip she says, "Okay."

"Lexa. What am I to you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, do you even like me? Am I your friend? Do you not care?"

"Well," Lexa licks her lip again. Eyes shifting to look away from searching blue eyes, "I wouldn't necessarily consider you a friend. I don't really know anything about you. But you're definitely more that an acquaintance."

"Do you like me?" There was a shift in Clarke's tone. This was about to get risky. Fighting the urge for her fingers to grab onto something Lexa answers, "As a person yes."

Clarke lets out a frustrated sigh. "Lexa why are you even still sleeping with me?"

"You are very good with your tongue," is what falls out of her mouth before she can stop it. Even without Clarke's noise of contempt she knew that was an asshole response. Hoping to defuse the rising tension she quickly amends, "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean that. Well I did. But not as the answer for your question. I'm still sleeping with you because I was under the impression that it was still okay. It's what we've been doing and I didn't realize things had changed."

"Bullshit." Clarke stands. "If you didn't think things had changed you wouldn't have run out on me and ignored me for weeks."

"We needed space."

"You mean _you_ needed space. Lexa, I know we started out as no strings but I think we've passed that. And I think that's scaring you."

"It is not. I am merely trying to keep us as no strings attached," Lexa does her best to keep her face impassive, as she looks Clarke in the eyes.

"Why?! Why when we've been sleeping together regularly for _months_ do we need to keep this as no strings attached? What is so bad about seeing if this could be more?"

"I told you from the start that I wasn't looking for anything serious. You agreed."

"Things can change."

"They haven't."

"They have for me." Gone was Clarke's anger. The words were whispered so sadly that Lexa felt her chest constrict. Blue eyes started to shine. Looking away Lexa crossed her arms. Shifting her feet she barely stopped herself from stepping back when Clarke stepped forward. "I like you Lexa. I want to get to know you. Not just your body," she reaches her hand out, letting it fall dejectedly when Lexa shifts away, "Do you understand how frustrating it is when you deny every attempt to just hang out? Anytime I hint at just being together like friends you shoot me down. But I text you at night and you're down to come over and fuck me."

"I'm sorry. But I thought you understood." Shaking her head, Clarke let's out an un-amused chuckle. Walking away from Lexa. Turning back around she says, "You want to know why I fucked you so hard the other day?"

Lexa keeps her lips tight.

"I couldn't get myself off," Clarke laughs sardonically, "Nothing I was doing was good enough. Thinking about you wasn't good enough. I wanted you here. I wanted your hands to leave burning trails of heat across my skin. I wanted you to kiss me until I couldn't breath. Feel your fingers inside me. But, I also wanted to hold you. I wanted those moments where you let me touch you. Really touch you and see you vulnerable. When I get to see your real smile. I texted you to come over because I realized that I wanted _you._ "

The room was a hundred degrees hotter to Lexa. She struggled to swallow with her suddenly dry throat. There was nothing she wanted more in that moment than to pull Clarke to her and do everything Clarke just said. The inappropriate dampening of her underwear could attest. But maybe she was a pansy. Her thoughts quickly flickered to Costia. Her beautiful Costia. Her dead Costia. All the pain that was still in Lexa's fractured heart came racing back. Breath quickening for a new reason Lexa breaks their electric gaze. Willing the wetness in her eyes to evaporate she mutters, "What if I don't want that. I don't…I don't…want you too."

silence.

"Then we're done. I can't do this anymore." Hearing the break in Clarke's voice Lexa made the mistake of looking up. Clarke's arms were wrapped around her chest. Fingers clutching at her arms. She was doing her best to stop her imminent tears. Lexa could see the trembles waiting to wreck Clarke's body. Lexa hated that she was the one doing this to Clarke. Feeling her own body starting to react, she can only nod. Not wanted Clarke to see the tear that slipped from her eye, Lexa rushed out of the apartment. Telling herself the sob that broke out as soon as the door was shut was all in her head.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Hopefully this wait wasn't too bad. This chapter decided it wanted to be basically double the word count of the other two! I can kind of see where this could be split into 2 chapters...but if this length is okay then I won't.**

 **Spoiler Alert: Side non-explicit FinnxClarke ahead but don't worry it's still Clexa ;)**

* * *

Lexa's nose was buried inside her textbooks. Soothing sounds of the ocean waves furling over a sandy beach was her background music. Pajamas on she was determined to stay inside tonight. The sound of Anya's heels come clicking down the hallway. Writing notes down in her notebook she doesn't look over when Anya walks into her room. "I can't believe…I told you to get ready."

"I told you I wasn't going out tonight."

"You haven't gone out in a month. It's time to stop moping around the apartment."

"I'm not moping. I'm focusing on my studies. Just like you should be doing."

"Please. I don't study. But don't change topics. You need to go out. Have fun! Get drunk! Forget about Clarke."

"She's already forgotten," Lexa says turning to look at Anya.

"Sure she is."

"She is. My…falling out with her has nothing to do with me not wanting to go out."

"Keep telling yourself that," with a roll of her eyes Anya starts leave the room. Before she's completely out she adds, "If you ask me you should have been spending the time you've been studying on trying to get her back. I'm sure if you explain to her that you're a dumbass she might take you back."

"There's no need for that. Things are better like this," Lexa glares.

"Okay Pinocchio."

Lexa settles on glaring at the space the laughing Anya vacated. Clarke had nothing to do with this. "Oh! And if you try and ditch me next week I'm bringing someone back and I'm going to make sure we're loud!" As the apartment door slams shut Lexa can only shake her head.

o-o-o-o

Was the music always this loud? Sitting at a sticky table Lexa sips prudently at the "you need to have fun" drink Anya got for her. It was definitely 98% alcohol. She doesn't even want to know what Anya said to the bartender to get it. The reddish liquid inside the large plastic cup didn't even look consumable. Playing with the straw Lexa continues to watch all the other people in the club. Some looking as miserable as her. But many more looked drunk and like they didn't care about anything but their friends and the music. They especially didn't care about blondes who were missing from behind the bar. Some girl Lexa had never seen before was bartending. Every time Lexa's eyes searched the bar for blue eyes she was met with disappointment. Taking an unwise gulp from her drink she spins in her seat. Who cares if Clarke wasn't there? She didn't. Not at all. Who was Clarke? "You've barely drunk anything!" Anya shouts over the music. "Drink! Drink!" Lexa takes a few more sips to stop the shouting. Not satisfied but dealing with it Anya grabs the drink from Lexa. Pulling the mopey girl from her seat, Anya downs a good portion from the cup as she drags Lexa to the dance floor.

It took longer than Anya would have liked but soon enough Lexa was more than a little buzzed. She was finally chill enough to start dancing and singing along. Anya couldn't help but grin proudly as Lexa found a girl to dance with. The grin on Lexa's face was worth the loss of a dance partner. The fact that it was a pretty blonde with blue eyes was not lost on her.

o-o-o-o

Indra, the traitor. Indra, of all people had forced Lexa out from her Netflix alcove. She was ripped from her warm blankets and pillows and thrown into a packed club with sweating bodies. Apparently they had won one of their most important games that day. Not even Lexa was exempt from the celebration. Anya was off somewhere with someone, leaving Lexa with Indra and…Octavia. The younger brunette had been mean mugging Lexa literally all night. The heated glare of green eyes followed her everywhere. Intensifying each time she got near the bar. Clarke was back. And looked just as beautiful as ever. She was smiling as she worked. And Lexa selfishly wondered if that smile was to hide her pain. That is, until she remembers that she was being ridiculous. She was happy. Clarke could be happy. Deserved to be happy. Their relationship meant nothing to Lexa. Her eyes glance back at the bar. The ache in her chest when Clarke giggles at something a boy says to her over the counter was ignored.

Hours and a few drinks later Lexa was weaving through the club. Determined to find someone to dance with. If Anya was going to stay m.i.a then she'd just have to find a cute girl to replace her. She tosses her beer bottle into the trash after finishing her last sips. The buzz of her body allowing her to better feel the rhythm of the music as she begins to dance by herself. Lost in the music she forgot that she was on a mission. Until her eyes opened, catching a pair of blue eyes. With a smirk she stalks towards her spy. When she reaches the brunette she asks, "Would you like to dance?" The girl nods, biting her lip flirtatiously. Smiling Lexa takes her hand. The girl's back meeting her front, their hips begin moving to the beat of the song.

Lexa continues to dance with the girl. Their movements becoming less innocent as the songs go on. When Lexa is pushed to the wall she's glad for the support when the girl begins to double her efforts. As the girl straightens her back, body completely pressed to Lexa's front. Lexa turns her head, pulling the girl in for a kiss. It was sloppy. The girl was far too eager or maybe just too drunk. The taste of cranberry vodka on her lips and tongue. Lexa missed the taste of Clarke's mango chapstick. Pulling away she states, "I have to use the restroom." The girl pouts, but nods. Lexa was worried for a second she would be followed. Instead the girl returned to her friends.

Making her way through the bodies Lexa tried to remember where their table was. Assuming someone was still watching it. Suddenly she's blinded by two hands. Before she can react a familiar voice is asking, "Guess who?"

"Anya really? I could have attacked you."

"You would have tried." Not removing her hands Anya leads Lexa to a booth instead of their table. When she removes her hands Lexa says, "Was that really necessary?"

"Yes. Gotta keep you on your toes." Rolling her eyes Lexa misses Anya's glance towards the bar.

When last call is being shouted through the speakers Lexa barely stops herself from getting up. Surrounded by Anya, Indra, Octavia, Sienna, and the other teammates she didn't know the names of Lexa prayed the last minutes in the club would go by quickly. She was ready to go home. Tired eyes can't help but to look for Clarke. That was a mistake. Clarke was again talking to the boy from earlier. She was giving him her embarrassed half smile that always sent butterflies to Lexa's stomach. As he combed his long hair away from his face (probably thinking it made him attractive) she poured him shots Lexa knew were going to be free. Clarke even gave him a wink when he tried to pay anyways. That wink was for Lexa. Unable to watch the blonde anymore Lexa turned away. Trying to jump back into the group. Octavia's less than sober eyes were staring at her. Masking her features she hoped her jealously didn't show outwardly. One glance at Anya was enough to know that it did.

When the lights to the club turned on it felt like every bone in Lexa's body wanted to go back behind those 'Employee Only' doors. Especially when she noticed who slipped behind them after Clarke. Nostrils flared and fists clenched it was Anya's hand on her shoulder that stopped her. "You shouldn't be jealous."

"I'm not," Lexa spit out.

"Of course not," Anya wraps her arm around Lexa's shoulder, "You could always find that brunette you were kissing earlier."

"You saw me?"

"I'm _always_ watching you."

"Creep," a small smile finds it's way onto her face.

"Am not. I'm just watching _out_ for you. Making sure no yucky guys try to touch you."

"Yucky?"

"Well aren't they?"

"Yes. But you could have just said guys."

"But that doesn't capture your disgust."

"There are better words than yucky." Anya tosses Lexa her keys, Lexa getting into the driver's side of the car.

"Ewwy?"

"That's not a word."

o-o-o-o

Tuesday night. New bar. New people. The building was fairly packed for a weeknight. The small dance floor even more so. The best part was no cute blonde bartender in sight. Having dressed Lexa in an outfit that said, "I can kill a man," Anya was determined to get Lexa to have a good time tonight. Both women had drinks in their hands as they danced to some remixed pop song. Lexa was drunk enough where she could shout the wrong lyrics and not care. She danced with Anya. She danced on Anya. She was feeling good. Jumping around and dancing. Her drink spilling on to the floor multiple times.

"I don't know if I like this bar," Lexa says looking around. There was no blonde hair behind the bar. Leaning against a wall she turns to Anya, "It's weird."

"How is it weird?"

"I don't know. It is."

"That's not an answer." Watching a guy who was _clearly_ blacked out, dancing as if it was his last night on Earth, Anya tries to ignore Lexa's pointed sigh. What was the guy even doing? Arms somewhat fist pumping in the air as he stomped around, he looked like he was going to hurt himself. Or someone else. "You were having fun earlier," she adds.

"I was more drunk earlier."

"Go buy a couple shots or a fishbowl then." Now he was getting on a platform. This wasn't going to end well.

"Alcohol will not fix my problem."

"Fixes most of mine," Anya chuckles. Yup. He fell. Turning to Lexa she says, "Lex. I took you here to have a good time. I did not put you in that dress to stand against the wall and be sad. Go get another shot. Maybe you'll bump into a girl and get lucky tonight."

"Fine. But I'm getting a beer, not a shot."

"Good enough for me." Anya points in the direction of the bar. Pushing off from the wall Lexa snakes her way through the club. As the night progressed it only became more crowded. Didn't these people have classes to study for or homework to complete? Why were there so many people? She was literally squeezing herself between bodies. Dodging limbs and drinks. This was one of the best 'going out' dresses that she owned, it was not getting spilled on.

The bass of the song could be felt in her chest as she reached the bar. She opens up her bag to get to her wallet as she leans on the counter. Eyes scan the club looking at no one in particular. Just taking in all the other bodies around her.

Card held out it took seven other people getting served instead of her for Lexa to give up. With a frustrated sigh she tucked her card away, bag going back under her arm. Maneuvering away from the bar, Lexa is trying to avoid an elbow to the face when the air is knocked out of her chest anyways. "Really…" In her line of sight is Clarke. Clarke and her new boyfriend. Or maybe he was a new fuck buddy. Just replacing Lexa. He was probably a boyfriend. Clarke looked amazing though. Her golden hair was pinned up. Accentuating her gorgeous face. The shirt made her breasts look amazing (but they were amazing without the shirt). And the skirt. Her legs. Lexa was certain Clarke was the most beautiful woman in this club. And what sealed the deal, she was laughing. Even from this distance Lexa could see the light in Clarke's eyes. She was happy. As arms wrapped around the boy's shoulders Lexa suddenly needed something strong. Definitely stronger than one beer.

"Clarke's here," Lexa says once she returns to Anya's side.

"What?"

"She's with her boyfriend," she gulps down her mixed drink.

"Fuck. Why can't she stay at her own bar," Anya eyes Lexa downing her drink with unusual vigor, "Want to go?"

"No. We've only got one more hour. I doubt I'll see her again."

They made eye contact. Clarke's blue eyes found Lexa's across the club and Lexa might have died a little. From that point on anytime Lexa saw Clarke the blonde would start dancing on the boy in a way that made Lexa squirm. If it were appropriate for her to rip him from Clarke's body and take his place she would. But she couldn't. They weren't dating. They weren't friends. Lexa couldn't be jealous. She didn't want to get involved. When you don't get involved the other party is allowed to find someone else. "Anya. I made a mistake," Lexa breathes.

"You think?" she snorts. She didn't mean to, but sometimes Lexa was unnecessarily hard headed.

"We should go," Lexa's eyes were glued to Clarke. Dancing freely, again the blonde's smile was hurting Lexa's chest. "Alright. Only because your staring is becoming stalkerish." Lexa slaps Anya's arm as rebuttal.

o-o-o-o

Sitting on Anya's bed both women are in their pajamas, tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream between them. The tv was on but neither girl knew what was playing. Sticking her spoon into the quart Lexa says, "There's no point. I blew it."

"You did. But not completely completely," Anya dips her own spoon in as Lexa licks the ice cream off of hers.

"I did."

"You need to talk to her. For real. Admit that you were a dumbass, and ask to be friends."

"She's not going to want to be friends anymore," Lexa replies seriously.

"You won't know until you talk to her," comes Indra's smooth voice. Walking over to the bed she hands Anya the bottle of Jack, before choosing to sit in a chair by Anya's desk. Shaking her head Lexa twirls the spoon in the ice cream. Watching the indents and ridges that are formed. "I'm telling you she isn't going to want to talk to me. She probably hates me."

"She doesn't hate you," Indra states.

"You don't know th—

"Octavia is her friend remember? And we all know Octavia likes to talk."

"How is your little pupil?" Anya smirks behind a sip of alcohol.

"She's fine," Indra dismisses, "But, as I was saying, when you and Clarke first ended…things…Octavia would not be quite about how much she hated you for hurting Clarke."

"You're very encouraging." Lexa takes the bottle from Anya.

"I didn't finish. After the first week or so she finally stopped complaining but recently you've been a topic of conversation again, thank you," she takes the bottle. Pouring some into the cup she brought up before handing it back. "Now because I try not to encourage her I never asked what changed. But I can only assume Clarke's been talking about you again."

"But she has a boyfriend now," looking away from both of her friends she tried to contain the upward pull of her lips. Not sure if it was the alcohol or the thought of Clarke not hating her that caused the butterflies to start in her stomach. "So? You're trying to be her _friend_ again. Now text her and say that you want to talk."

"She should call her."

"No, text. If she calls there's a chance she'll say something she doesn't mean."

"I can decide for myself which I want to do."

"If that were true you wouldn't be in this mess," Anya says before sucking on her spoonful of ice cream.

Lexa glares.

Anya gives her an air kiss.

o-o-o-o

Twirling her phone in her hands Lexa walks back from class. Usually she'd be mentally reviewing what went on and making sure she was prepared for her next class. Today, however, she was worrying about Clarke. Should she just text her? Should she call her? Should she call her to meet up? Should she text her to meet up? None of them seemed quite right. Sighing she stuck her phone back in her pocket. One thing was for sure, she couldn't just show up at the bar trying to talk. She walks into her favorite coffee shop. Giving her friend, the cashier, a nod.

 _Hello Clarke *backspace*_

 _Clarke *backspace*_

 _Hey Cla*backspace*_

"Why is this so difficult," Lexa groans. Nearly slamming her phone facedown. Her empty plate rattles on the wooden table anyways. Hand brushing through her hair she looked around the coffee shop. Smiling shyly when she saw Lincoln behind the counter giving her a look. Gathering her stuff up she walks over to him. "What's got you in such a mood?" The deep voice teases.

"I messed up with someone. And now I want to apologize. But I don't think they're going to want to speak to me."

"A girl I presume?"

"Yes Lincoln, a girl," Lexa rolls her eyes, "Got any words of wisdom?"

"Only that it's better to be honest and humble. Admit when you're wrong and they'll usually come around."

"What if she doesn't?" Lexa moves over for the customer who walked up.

"Then it's probably good to move on and learn from your mistakes the next time."

"Alright. Thank you."

"No problem. Tell Anya I said hey."

"I will."

Walking into her room Lexa puts all her stuff away. Kicking her shoes off into her closet. When she sits on her bed she pulls out her phone again. Already open on her and Clarke's messages. With an exhale she touches the phone icon. It rings. Rings. Rings. Scratching at the leg of her jeans it continues to ring.

 _"Lexa,"_ harsh and clipped her name finally comes from the phone.

"Hi Clarke. I didn't think you were going to pick up," she laughs nervously.

 _"I wasn't."_

"…" suddenly at a lost for words awkward silence falls between the two.

 _"Why did you call me?"_

"I um…I wanted to talk to you."

 _"Really?"_ there was sarcasm in Clarke's voice.

"Yes. I, um," licking her lips Lexa stands. Pacing around her room, "Yes. I wanted to talk to you."

 _"You already said that."_

"I know. What I'm trying to say is that I want to talk to you in person. I want to discuss…something…that I don't think would be appropriate over the phone."

 _"What if I don't want to talk to you?"_

"Then…then I'll know my answer." As silence envelopes them again Lexa's free hand fidgets with one of her belt loops. She sits back down on her bed anxiously waiting for Clarke's answer. Each second was like torture. She almost wondered if Clarke hung up on her. But the sounds of the other girl's breaths ruled that out. With a heavy sigh Clarke says, _"Fine. We can meet up. Will a couple hours from now work?"_

"Oh um sure."

 _"Alright. Meet me outside my apartment building. At like…eight. Can you do that?"_

"Yeah, that's fine."

 _"Okay."_

"Thank you Clarke."

-click-

Sighing she put her phone in her pocket. Leaving her room she heads straight for Anya's.

Stereo headphones on, Anya's head was bobbing to the music playing on her laptop. Seeing Lexa she raises her finger in the 'one second' gesture. She finishes what she was typing before pulling her headphones down from her head to her neck. "What's up?"

"Clarke wants to meet me in a couple hours."

"Wow, she actually agreed to talk? I'm surprised."

"I am too. I honestly didn't think she was going to answer her phone."

"So what's the problem?" She knew Lexa well enough to pick up on her nervous fidgeting.

"What if this is a mistake."

"Lexa."

"No listen. Clarke is happy now. She's probably over me and whatever we had. Maybe I'm being selfish trying to be her friend again. She's still mad at me. Maybe I should forget this."

"Lexa. Be selfish. I haven't seen _you_ as happy as you were with Clarke since Costia. I know you loved Costia. And losing her is the worst thing that's ever happened to us."

Lexa looks away.

"And I know that pain is what kept you away from Clarke. But you can't keep, punishing yourself, or sabotaging yourself, or whatever it is you keep doing."

"I'm not—

"You are. You know me, I'm all for one nighters and casual sex. All for it. But what you were doing with Clarke. As much as you tried to deny it, that was a potential relationship. One you fucked up before it could get good. Don't fuck it up again."

Shifting her feet, Lexa stood for a moment before making her way over to Anya's bed. She sits down at the edge of it. Picking at her fingernails asking, "And what if I fuck it up again?"

"Then you move on. Find a girl better than Clarke who will make you happy. And don't make the same mistakes. The important part is that you need to let yourself be happy. Do something your heart wants."

"I'm worried," Lexa leans her head on Anya's shoulder.

"I know. But look at the bright side, people always love to hear when they're right. Just do the best groveling you've ever done in your life and I bet she'll forgive you in no time."

"I'm not going to grovel."

"You should. And record it for me. I'd need it on tape."

"It's not going to happen. I'm not that desperate."

"You might be," Anya laughs.

"I'm not!"

"I don't know…I've seen how many blondes and blue eyed chicks have been catching your eye lately."

"What? They haven't," Lexa blushes.

"They have. You were never one for subtlety. And your Clarke-look-alikes are practically a siren of your longing."

"I hate you." Getting up Lexa makes her leave from the room. One second Anya was comforting her, the next teasing.

"You love me."

"You're an ass."

"Your favorite piece of ass, oh wait, no that's Clarke."

"Bye Anya." She closes the door as she leaves, trying to ignore Anya's bark of laughter.

Fingers in her jacket pockets Lexa waits outside Clarke's apartment. Whole body moving, trying to keep her blood flowing. It was colder outside than she was expecting. Checking her phone again the time read 8:15 pm. She had been waiting for Clarke for about twenty minutes. She may not be able to see her breath yet, but her toes were becoming uncomfortably cold. After another five minutes (that felt like 30) Lexa saw two figures walking her way. The mass of blonde hair she knew to be Clarke's quickly recognizable. Clearing her throat she waits anxiously for them to reach her. Eyes sparing the boy next to Clarke a quick glance. What was more important was his arm. His arm was around Clarke. Pulling their bodies tight together. Lexa made an effort not to glare. Reaching the apartment door Clarke types in her code before saying, "Finn you can go upstairs, I'll be right up. This won't take long."

"Alright," he eyes Lexa curiously before walking into the apartment with a shrug. The door shuts and then there's silence. Both girls staring at each other. Clarke's blue eyes just short of a glare. "You're the one who wanted to talk," she finally states, tired of the silence.

"Right. Yes," one hand is removed from Lexa's pocket, brushing through her hair, "I wanted to apologize."

Clarke's eyebrows rise.

"I was an ass. And I wasn't fair to you or our…relationship…It took me a while to admit it to myself," she licks her lips, "And I won't blame you if you say that it's too late," green eyes have to look away from blue as she finished, "but I would like to try being friends. I will do my best to make up for all the times I shut you down, if you let me."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"What changed?" Clarke crosses her arms over her chest.

"I realized that I made a mistake. You're amazing Clarke. It's my loss that I tried to deny myself from seeing that. I…I can't let my fears of getting hurt stop me from making new relationships anymore." Cold fingers back in her pockets Lexa shifts on her feet. Nervously watching Clarke's face. The blonde was staring at her. Searching her face, probably searching for deceit.

With a sigh Clarke replies, "I should probably tell you no. Tell you that you're too late and that I don't want to waste my time if you change your mind again."

Holding her breath Lexa's chest tightens as she waits anxiously for the 'but'.

"But I guess I'm willing to give you another chance. Just as friends though."

"Yes. Friends," Lexa does her best to contain her smile. Green eyes get lost in the waves of blue. She hasn't been this close to Clarke in too long. She hasn't been able to stare at that maddeningly kissable mole above Clarke's pink lips, in too long. She knows she's being obvious. She's staring. She's staring at tantalizing lips. Wishing she could cover them with her own. Eyes take their leisurely time to trail back to Clarke's (darkened) irises.

There's a cold chill that breezes passed them. Causing Clarke to shiver. Clearing her throat nervously Lexa says, "So. What's his name…you've, um, been happy with him?"

"I don't think you get to ask about him yet," Clarke's eyes search Lexa's face once more, "Actually I should probably head up. I did say this wouldn't take long."

"You did. Well, I guess I'll see you around?"

"Maybe." There was a slight smirk to Clarke's lips as she turns away to enter her code to the building. Lexa knows Clarke was taking a jab at her. But the hopeful grin that was fighting its way onto her lips was not discouraged.

o-o-o-o

"Finn this is Lexa," Clarke introduces before starting to mix someone's drink.

"Hey," Finn nods. Lexa gives him a nod back. Her and Clarke had been talking before he had showed up. Smile on his face dropping the smile from hers. She has to look away when Clarke leans over the counter to give him a quick kiss on the lips. Taking a chug from her cup she says, "I should probably get back to Anya." Not waiting for Clarke's response she leaves the bar quickly.

"You can't run away each time he shows up," Anya says with a smirk on her lips.

"Yes I can," Lexa's eyes search for someone to dance with.

"If you want to be her friend you're going to have to deal with him," Anya laughs.

"Well, I can put it off for as long as she'll let me." Finishing her drink she hands the empty cup to Anya before walking off.

o-o-o-o

Entering the packed house Lexa knew she wasn't drunk enough for this party. Why was there a group of guys without their shirts on? "What took you so long?" Anya asks, walking up to Lexa having noticed her immediately. Passing the almost empty blue cup in her hand off to Lexa. She drags Lexa back towards the kitchen.

"I got side tracked. Sorry."

"No excuses," Anya replies grabbing a new red cup from the bag. She dumps it into the plastic bin of jungle juice, "We couldn't sing without you."

"You guys could have sung without me. My feelings wouldn't have been hurt," Lexa chuckles next being dragged out from the kitchen and back to the living room. Anya brings her over to Indra. "Happy Birthday," Lexa grins.

"Thank you. Though I would have much preferred if this had remained a party dedicated towards our victory," she replies giving some of her teammates a glare.

"But that wouldn't have been any fun," Echo grins.

"Would have been fine for me."

"Stop being a party pooper. Lexa is here now!" Anya shouts. Arm wrapped around Lexa's neck. "So now we can sing!"

"No. I told you no singing."

"We can't hear you," Octavia says appearing out from nowhere. A bottle of Vodka in her hand she starts to pour it into Indra's cup, "Alright everybody, One, two, three!"

"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy biiiirthday to Iiindra," it took only a moment for the whole house to erupt into song. Someone turned down the music and a chorus of at least twenty people (all varying degrees of drunk) sung to Indra, who looked like she was ready to kill whoever dared to get any closer to her as they sung. When her couple minutes of torture were over the music returned full blast and conversations began again. "That wasn't so bad now was it," Anya grins.

"Worst minutes of my life. I hate all of you," walking away no one missed the grin on Indra's face as she walked into the kitchen.

"She loved it," Anya nods to Lexa. Turning to Octavia she calls, "Yo, Olivia, where's Clarke?"

"It's Octavia," she growls.

"Sure it is. Clarke?"

"I don't know. I lost track of her a few hours ago," Octavia replies looking around.

"Why is Clarke here?" Lexa asks confused.

"Why are you here?" Octavia replies giving Lexa a glare before answering, "I invited her. She needed to go out."

"Apparently her and her guy broke up," Anya adds sipping her drink.

"What?" Lexa turns to Octavia with wide eyes.

"Not that it's any of your business but yeah. Apparently Finn still had feelings for his ex. He broke it off with Clarke so he could get back with her."

"She didn't tell me that," Lexa says more to herself than as a response, but Octavia hears her anyways.

"Why would she? You aren't friends," Octavia spits. Done with the conversation she walks off. Lexa can only manage to look slightly guilty. Truth be told she was kind of avoiding Clarke again. She still texted. They still had conversations. But they hadn't gone out to do something as 'friends' in a while. Lexa was always too nervous to ask. To top things off anytime they did see each other Finn was always present. Lexa tried to remain civilized. Remember her place. But seeing them and their presumably good relationship had constantly ignited a spark of jealousy in her. Convincing herself being just friends was enough was hard to do when a voice in the back of her head wanted Clarke all for herself.

Lexa takes a sip from the cup in her hands. "So, why did you want to know where Clarke was?" She asks looking at Anya.

"Cuz last I saw her she was already pretty drunk. And I know you'll want to check up on her now that you know," Anya grins before lifting her cup to her lips.

"Where'd you last see her?" Lexa chooses to ask instead of verbally confirming Anya's words.

"In the kitchen. But that was nearly an hour ago. She could be anywhere."

Clarke was incredibly hard to find. After thirty minutes of searching (only five of which Anya helped look) Lexa found the blonde in the upstairs bathroom. Lying on the floor. "Clarke!" Rushing over, she carefully turns the blonde around.

"Lexa!" Clarke's excited grin quickly turns into an adorably angry pout, "Wait, no. I'm mad at you." She crosses her arms.

"Clarke you're drunk," Lexa tries to pull the blonde up from the strangely wet bathroom floor.

"Go away. I don't need your help," batting Lexa's hands away, Clarke stands herself up. She takes a swaying step forward. Quickly being caught by Lexa.

"Clarke, you need to go home."

"No I don't. I need more alcohol. And O where's O?"

"You definitely need zero more alcohol. And Octavia's downstairs."

"Take me to her. You're a jerk face," she slurs.

"Why am I a jerk face," Lexa tries not to laugh. Moving Clarke's arm around her shoulder.

"You're a lying jerk face," Clarke tries to point at Lexa's face. Nearly poking the brunette's eye.

"Why?"

"Because! You, you said you wanted to be friends!"

"I do want to be friends," Lexa stares down at the steps in front of them worriedly. Arm tightening around Clarke's waist. She prays they don't fall.

"Well you don't act like it!"

"What do you mean?"

"You've been avoiding me! I've noticed. And you haven't asked me out once! Not once. I've been waitin and waitin and nothing. Nothing! So. You're a lying jerk face," Clarke nods to herself.

"I was waiting to see if you'd ask me to go somewhere," Lexa says. Relieved when they reached the bottom of the stairs safely. Loosening her grip some, Lexa still made sure she was holding most of Clarke's weight. The blonde on the other hand was looking around the room determinedly. Only mildly attempting to break away from Lexa. Even though she was angry with Lexa she knew without the girl's support, she'd be on the ground again. "More like you were waiting until never. Where's Octavia?" She asks again. This time trying to pull Lexa in the direction she wanted to go.

"I don't know. I haven't seen her since I got here."

"Take me to her."

"Clarke you really need to go home."

"O brought me here. She'll take me home."

"Uum…I don't think she'll be ready to leave quite yet," green eyes found Octavia. Turning them so Clarke can see for herself. When she does Clarke whines, "Noooo…she's supposed to be finding me a rebound." Octavia was wrapped up in Lincoln's arms. Making out with him like her life depended on it.

"I drove here. I can drive you home."

"No."

"Clarke, let me take you home."

"No!" Not quite in control of her limbs Clarke's sudden attempt for freedom involved mostly flailing. Stumbling. And smacking Lexa in the face, which produced an eruption of giggles. Despite the slight tingling in her face Lexa can't help but to smile too. "Clarke, please let me help you. This can be me proving to you I want to be friends."

That makes Clarke stop. She either squints or glares at Lexa. Her drunkenness making it really just look like she was in pain. She gives Lexa a hard look before replying, "You really want to prove you aren't a lying jerk face?"

"Yes."

"Yes, what," Clarke giggles.

"I want to prove I'm not a lying jerk face."

"Okay! Take me home!"

Drunk Clarke was very talkative. A little queasy but talkative. She talked the whole ride to her apartment. Yelling when she saw a McDonald's and didn't stop yelling until Lexa went through the drive through. Then munching on her "delibicious" fries she began to thank Lexa repeatedly for getting her McDonald's.

When they reach Clarke's apartment it only takes a few seconds before the blonde is running for the bathroom. She bumps into her walls a couple times but thankfully reaches the toilet in time to regurgitate all the fries and chicken nuggets that had made her so happy earlier. Lexa doesn't hesitate to pull blonde hair away from her face. Rubbing circles on Clarke's back as the blonde continues to retch. When she's finally emptied her stomach Clarke leans back. "I'm sad. Those fries were so good," she mutters.

"I know. Do you think you're done or do you want to stay by the toilet?"

"I think I'm done," she flushes the toilet. Struggling to stand Lexa quickly helps her. "I need to brush my teeth." After a couple brushes Clarke's eyelids begin to droop closed.

"Hey, wake up," Lexa smiles nudging Clarke's arm.

"I am awake," Clarke replies, talking around her toothbrush angrily. Lexa thinks she looks adorable. That is until Clarke's face scrunches up. "I'm going to be sick again." Even though it's barely a foot away Clarke nearly misses the toilet in her launch to reach it. Holding back blonde hair again, Lexa asks, "Are you normally this sick when you drink a lot?"

"Uuuugh," forehead beginning to have beads of sweat Clarke lazily flushes the toilet before falling back against Lexa. Eyes closed she shakes her head. "Not usually. Wait…only when I drink too much Tequila. That stuff hates me. And I hate it."

"Why'd you drink so much then," Lexa carefully pulls both of them up from the floor. Waddling Clarke over to her bed. She lays the blonde down. Pulling off her heels.

"Octavia made me. Said it would help me forget about Finn. It worked. But now I don't feel very good."

"I'm going to get you a glass of water. Then you should probably just sleep it off."

Arm over her head Clarke nods her agreement. When Lexa comes back, glass in hand, Clarke is already knocked out and snoring.

Groaning Clarke rolls over in her bed. The rays of light slipping through her window bringing stabbing pain to her closed eyes. Her brain felt like it was in a WWE match. And her mouth tasted like death. Groaning again the last thing she wanted to do was get out of bed. A warning pain coming from her bladder, however, told her she was going to regret any decision besides leaving the bed. Rolling out from her blankets she shuffled her way to her bathroom. Eyes only partially cracked open. She sighs happily while her completely full bladder is being emptied. At least one part of her body was being relieved of its pain.

After washing her hands and brushing her teeth she drags her feet back to her bed. Halfway there a glass of water (with a couple small ice cubes in it) and a pair of pills catch her eye. Shuffling her way to her desk she wonders how they got there. Was drunk Clarke looking out for hung over Clarke? Searching her mind she begins to vaguely piece together memories. "Lexa." Swallowing the aspirin she then finishes the water. Crawling back into bed she writes a mental note to thank Lexa later.

One hand holding a tray of drinks and paper bag held between her teeth Lexa returns to the apartment. Closing the door as quietly as she could. She sets the blonde's keys down on the table by the door. She then walks into the kitchen setting the drinks and the small brown bag of pastries down. Grabbing her coffee she walks to Clarke's room. Smiling when she sees that Clarke had gotten up while she was gone. Sprawled out on top of the covers Clarke was now pants-less. The pants she had been sleeping in discarded by the bathroom door. Shaking her head Lexa walks over to the empty glass picking it up. She nearly drops it when she turns around to see a grumpy Clarke staring at her. "What are you doing?"

"Um…putting your glass away?"

"Why are you still here?" Clarke yawns, one fist rubbing her eye.

"I actually just got back. I figured you might want some breakfast, but didn't want to intrude in your kitchen, so I just got you a Chai Tea and a chocolate croissant."

"Really," eyes opening wide Clarke was suddenly awake.

"Yeah, I can go get them. You don't have to get up." Leaving the room quickly Lexa doesn't know why Clarke's excited face was bringing heat to her cheeks. Grabbing the stuff she double checks that she locked Clarke's door before returning to the bedroom. Ears still pink she hands Clarke her breakfast. "Thank you," Clarke grins bringing the drink up to her nose to smell.

"You're welcome."

"I have to admit, I'm surprised you got me breakfast, let alone remembered my order."

"It's not a hard one to memorize," Lexa shrugs.

"Hm," ripping off a small piece of the croissant Clarke chews it carefully, hoping her stomach will keep it down. "Did you spend the night?"

"I hope you don't mind," Lexa takes a sip of her coffee, eyes unable to meet Clarke's.

"Eh, not really. But I mean you didn't have to. I may have been drunk but I wasn't _that_ drunk," she hums happily after a sip of her Chai.

"I kind of felt weird leaving you. I mean you did seem okay but…considering you were vomiting…"

"Ugh. Thanks for reminding me," Clarke grimaces.

"Sorry."

There was a growth of silence between them. Both women sipping their drinks. Clarke sitting in her bed and Lexa standing somewhat awkwardly in the middle of the room. Lexa was feeling like it was probably time for her to leave, but she didn't quite know how to exit. "So, am I remembering correctly? Were you trying to prove to me that you still wanted to be friends last night?"

"Yeah. I want to apologize again if I came off like I was having doubts Clarke. I meant it when I said I wanted to be friends. I just never asked you to hang out because I was worried," her fingers start picking at the cardboard sleeve on her coffee cup.

"No apologies needed," she waves off, "I think drunk me was more upset than sober me. Truthfully I didn't really want to do more that text you. At least…not while I was with Finn."

"Why not?" Lexa hopes Clarke can't hear the worry in her voice.

"Because I still like you…jerk face," Clarke smiles.

There was no stopping the blush that captured Lexa's face.

o-o-o-o

Trying to keep her breathing regular Lexa sat, the whole side of her body was in contact with Clarke. Pulses of electricity zipping from every point of contact to the rest of her body. She had invited Clarke over to watch a movie. Anya wasn't home so she didn't have to worry about being pestered. Clarke was engrossed in the movie. Popping skittles in her mouth every couple of seconds. Getting her eyes to focus on the movie and not Clarke was more of a challenge than she expected. "No matter how long you stare at me, I'm not sleeping with you."

"What? No, I—"

Clarke turns to fully face the stuttering Lexa.

"I didn't ask you to come over for that."

"Okay. I'm just making sure."

"I promise. That was never my intention," Lexa says softly.

Clarke gives Lexa a serious look, "Alright. Just to be clear I think we should go slower with our relationship this time around. Make sure we're both ready and on the same page before we start anything," blue eyes return to the movie.

"Seems fair."

….

"Octavia told me about Costia," Clarke whispers after a few minutes of silence.

Lexa freezes. Jaw clenching. She grinds her teeth for a few seconds. Trying to quickly work through her emotions before she responds, "What did she say?"

"She told me you guys were in love. And that you were together for a couple years...before the accident."

Lexa nods.

"She also told me…she said you were struggling to cope for awhile."

Turning away Lexa wills the tears in her eyes not to fall. With a shaky breath she mutters, "Why was Octavia telling you all of this?"

"It was a while ago. I may have been complaining about you…and how you always seem to back out when I think we're making progress," Clarke gives Lexa an apologetic look, "I kind of lied when I said I didn't care about you avoiding me. It was frustrating and I was worried we were going to be stuck repeating ourselves. I know I should have talked to you, instead of hearing all of this secondhand from Octavia. But she did make me realize I was being kind of unfair. So I'm saying all of this to reiterate, we can go as slow as we need to go."

Lexa remains silent. Clarke watches Lexa's face for a few seconds before her gaze returns to the screen. Lexa stares at the tv screen without really watching the movie. Clarke's words repeating in her head. Eyes glance at Clarke's profile. She really wished that Octavia would keep her mouth shut sometimes. Octavia was only just starting to come around at the time of the accident. She couldn't really know enough to have given Clarke accurate details. Despite all of this, Clarke's knowledge of Costia couldn't change much. Lexa was not going to allow this to trip her up. Do something her heart wants Anya had said. Nodding to herself Lexa was pretty sure she was ready to be serious, she wanted to be happy, with Clarke.

o-o-o-o

 _"You want to take me out on a date?"_ Clarke sounded unsure.

"Yes."

 _"Uuum…"_

"It will be completely casual," Lexa searches through her closet for her favorite pair of skinny jeans, "If we start it and you decided you don't want it to be a date then it won't be."

 _"I'm already on my way over though. What if I'm not dressed appropriate?"_

"You're going to be dressed fine, promise. It's casual remember."

 _"Yeah, but I'm dressed for a night on the couch watching Netflix."_

"You'll look fine," walking out of her room she heads to Anya's, "One second Clarke. Anya do you have my jeans?"

"Which ones?" Anya looks up from her laptop.

"The black, skinny jeans."

"Oh, those ones," Anya waggles her eyebrows with a grin.

Lexa gives her a glare.

"Yeah, I think I might," still grinning she gets up walking over to her drawer, "Is that Clarke on the phone."

"Yes."

"Hey Blondie!" She shouts fishing through her drawers.

 _"Hey,"_ Clarke can't help but to laugh back even if Anya couldn't hear her.

"She said hey."

Finding them Anya closes her drawer saying, "Tell her I said she should consider herself special. You don't wear these jeans for just anyone," before walking over to Lexa.

"I'm not telling her that."

"She's wearing these pants so you'll take them off her later," Anya says loud enough for Clarke to hear.

"Anya! No I'm not. Ignore her Clarke," grabbing the pants Lexa rushes out of the room.

 _"Can't wait to see these pants."_

"Well now you'll have to wait until another time. Anya ruined them for tonight," Lexa mutters walking back into her room.

Clarke laughs. _"Alright, well I'll be at your apartment in a couple minutes."_

"Alright. I'll unlock my door for you."

 _"Okay. See you."_

"Bye." Hanging up the phone Lexa tosses it on her bed before pulling off her shirt. Instead pulling on the cream colored sheer top waiting on the bed for her. She finds a different pair of black pants to wear before heading to the living room to unlock her door.

Clarke arrives a few minutes later, just as Lexa is finishing her mascara. Giving Clarke a gracious once over she states, "You thought you were going to be dressed inappropriately?" Clarke was wearing a simple, turquoise sweater. That was slightly baggy. Along with a pair of jeans that were hugging her legs perfectly. Clarke motions to her body, "These are not going out clothes."

"We're not going _out_ out. You look perfect," Lexa says giving Clarke a reassuring smile.

"Where are we going then?" Clarke asks once Lexa takes her hand and leads her back out of the apartment.

"Bye Anya! First, we're getting something to eat."

"That's not a real answer."

Food halfway eaten, a kid's menu was open in between their plates. "You're cheating," Clarke laughs.

"You can't cheat at tic-tac-toe Clarke."

"Obviously you can, cheater," Clarke grins knocking Lexa's crayon away.

"Who's the cheater now," Lexa laughs. Each time she tried to make her X Clarke pushed her hand away. Lexa had taken Clarke to one of her favorite restaurants. "Polis Grille" it was a small, local place reminiscent of Applebee's, but if you asked Lexa Polis' food was even better. Knowing before hand that the wait for food could get pretty long she had asked for a kid's menu and crayons. She was not regretting the decision. She let Clarke color in the couple of animals on the page, and then proceeded to beat Clarke in tic-tac-toe 4-2 before the meal arrived. Currently the score was 7-3. Soon to be eight if Clarke would stop smacking her hand away. "This game is dumb," Clarke says dropping her green crayon. Picking up a few fries she ate them with conviction.

"You're only saying that because you're losing."

"Were are we going next on this date-not-date?"

"Nice change of subject there," Lexa finally makes her last X and crosses a line through the three, "That's actually up to you. I was thinking either going to a movie or—don't laugh—I was thinking we could go for a walk. There's this path I take to get to my business management class and it's actually really nice in the evening." Too embarrassed to look at Clarke she focuses on making hash marks on the corner of the kid's menu. The longer Clarke stays silent the more she regrets the idea. The hum that comes from Clarke brings her eyes back up. Clarke's chin was in her hand. Her other hand making designs on the kid's menu with her own crayon. "Can we rain check that walk? That doesn't sound like a bad idea, promise, I'm just not up for it right now."

"Okay, so the movies are okay?"

"Yeah, you can even buy me popcorn," Clarke grins.

o-o-o-o

"I don't understand why she's stringing you along. You realize you two have basically reversed roles now," Anya asks from the couch.

"She wants to make sure I'm serious before she becomes invested again," Lexa replies leaning against the kitchen counter.

"You've been unofficially dating for a month now. What more proof does she need?"

"I don't know." The microwave beeps. Lexa moving from her spot against the kitchen counter to remove the popcorn.

"I think you both have commitment issues."

"Can't argue with you there, ow," dropping the popcorn on the counter she moves to get a bowl.

"You need to have another talk with her. No bullshit. Tell her you're ready for an actual relationship. You're basically already exclusive aren't you?"

"Yeah. At least I'm not with anyone, and she hasn't mentioned anybody else." Lexa walks into the living room. Plopping down next to Anya on the couch.

"Okay. Well tell her if she doesn't get her shit together me and her are going to fight."

"You can't fight her," Lexa laughs.

"I will. And I'll get dirty. Smack her in the face with mud if I have to," Anya grins, digging her hand into the popcorn.

"Please don't. I will talk to her. You are right."

"Duh. I'm always right."

"Well that's a lie," laughing Lexa presses play on the remote. Laughing harder when Anya gives her a punch in the arm.

o-o-o-o

Leaning on the counter Lexa unabashedly stares at Clarke, who was busy making three of the same drink. Last Call was shouted through the speakers minutes ago. Sipping her water she continues to watch Clarke do her thing. After Clarke swipes the girls' credit cards and hands them their receipts she makes her way back over to Lexa. "People are going to think you're a stalker if you keep staring at me like that," Clarke laughs.

Lexa shrugs.

"Did you tell Anya you're leaving with me?"

"Yup. And I told her that I probably won't be back until the morning."

"That's a little presumptuous," Clarke grins. She splits her attention, giving the guy that walked up a look so he knew to order.

"But I'm not wrong," Lexa states, doing her best to keep a straight face.

"I don't know, now I might have to rethink asking you over." She walks off to grab a Bud Lite from the refrigerator. When she returns she takes his card before popping open the cap and giving it to him. As she swipes the card Lexa replies, "It'd be your loss."

"Oh really?" Clarke smirks sliding the guy's card and receipt across the counter.

"Mhm," Lexa nods, "If I don't come over how are we going to cuddle?"

"You make a very good point," Clarke replies after a moment.

When the lights to the club came on and the music faded out Lexa quickly made her way through the Employee's Only door. Giving Miller a sheepish wave before she made a sprint for one of the back rooms to hide from Clarke's boss. Once there she sent Anya a quick text, Anya: _Text me when u get home_

 _Roger_

It didn't take to long for Clarke to come peaking her head into the dark room. "Lexa?"

"I'm here."

"Good. We can leave now." Holding her hand out Clarke helps Lexa up from the floor. Fingers intertwining as they walk to the back exit. Clarke pouts a bit when they have to separate their hands to get in her car, which brings a smile to Lexa's face. When Clarke has started the car and adjusted the music Lexa sighs, "Clarke?"

"Hm?"

Lexa pauses, "Never mind."

"What is it?" Clarke asks giving Lexa a quick glance.

"It's nothing," Lexa looks out the window.

"You sure?"

"Yeah," Lexa watches the drunk people across the street. Using each other for support, they stumbled their way into Jimmy Johns. When a hand takes hers gently Lexa looks away from the window. Clarke's thumb rubbed against the back of her hand a couple times before returning to the steering wheel. "You can talk to me you know?"

"I know."

Clarke gave her another glance when it was apparent Lexa wasn't going add on to the statement. Truthfully Lexa just didn't want to have the conversation in the car. She wanted to bring up their relationship. But she wanted to be able to look Clarke in the face. She also didn't want to be a distraction.

When they reached the blondes apartment Clarke gave Lexa a quick kiss before entering her code and holding the door open. Following Clarke up the stairs Lexa's eyes drift towards Clarke's butt. Shamelessly admiring it until they reach Clarke's door. When Lexa's eyes finally look up Clarke is grinning smugly. Giving Lexa a wink she let's Lexa walk into the apartment first. Lexa doesn't walk to far away because once the door is closed she's pushing Clarke back up against it. Arms trapping the blonde underneath her. Lexa places light kisses on Clarke's cheek and then the corner of her mouth. "Clarke."

"Hmm?" Clarke wraps her arms around Lexa's neck. Fingers tangling in the curls of Lexa's hair. Lexa drops her arms to wrap them around Clarke's waist. Pulling their bodies closer together. Telling herself to breath she rests her forehead on Clarke's. Noses touching she takes a moment to stare into Clarke's eyes. Searching through the blue sea and finding reflections of stars. Pulling away just enough so that she could only feel Clarke's exhales on her skin she says, "I want to make this official. I'm ready if you're ready."

"And you're sure?" Clarke's fingers tighten before quickly relaxing again. She lightly massages Lexa's scalp where she pulled. Eyes shut Lexa nods. Moaning a bit when Clarke's nails scratch her head. Clarke's giggles make Lexa's open her eyes again. Blushing she confirms, "I'm sure. I'm not going to run again. I want you to be able to call me yours."

Clarke presses their lips together softly. Then after a second, harder kiss, she pulls Lexa's bottom lip between her teeth. One hand dropping to Lexa's waist she asks, "You want to be mine?"

"Yes," Lexa breathes. Her eyes were dark like the shadows of a forest. Pushing Clarke against the door again she kisses Clarke like she never wants to stop. Hand slipping underneath Clarke's shirt Lexa enjoys the feel of Clarke's gasp. Smiling into the kiss. When she feels Clarke's tongue against her lip she opens her mouth. Clarke's tongue teases hers for a second before retreating. Even as the kiss becomes heated Lexa can't stop smiling. Finally she has to pull away because of her laughter. Forehead pressed against Clarke's.

"What's so funny?" Clarke can't help but laugh too.

"I don't know," Lexa grins, "I'm just happy."

"You're such a nerd," Clarke laughs kissing Lexa's cheek. Grabbing Lexa's waist with both hands Clarke begins to walk them backwards. "I know what will make you even happier," she adds coyly.

"Hmmm…ice cream. You remembered to buy Mint Chocolate Chip right?"

"I did actually, but that's not what I meant." They walk into Clarke's room. Both kicking off their shoes before the back of Lexa's legs hit the bed. Sitting down Lexa answers, "Not the ice cream? Hm? Well, I don't know what else you could be talking about." Lexa's grin is wide, teeth showing as Clarke rolls her eyes. Pushing Lexa back some, Clarke makes room for herself to straddle Lexa's thighs. "I was thinking of something else you could use your mouth to enjoy."

Lexa snorts, "That was a terrible."

"Hey, you're the one that started talking about ice cream. Not much else I can do with that without going the dessert route. Which would have been even worse."

"I'll give you that. But technically you started it when you said you knew what would make me happier."

"You're making me not want to kiss you anymore," Clarke pouts, locking her fingers behind Lexa's neck.

"Well that's a shame," Lexa kisses above Clarke's lip. Right on her mole. Then her cheek. And her jaw. She starts to kiss down Clarke's neck. Stating between kisses, "I was…just…getting started." Sighing Clarke tilts her head. Lexa's hands once again slipping underneath her shirt. Giving Clarke's hips a squeeze before lifting the shirt up slowly. She pauses once she reaches Clarke's chest. Waiting for Clarke's nod before removing the shirt completely. Lips return to Clarke's skin. Sucking the rosy flesh of Clarke's collar between her teeth, Lexa enjoys the tightening of Clarke's legs around her waist.

Moaning Clarke begins to roll her hips. Pushing their bodies closer together. Only to be pushed back as Lexa brings her wet kisses down Clarke's chest. Fingers gently sliding thin bra straps down Clarke's arms. The pleasure that shoots down Clarke's body when Lexa's mouth covers her nipple through the lace of the bra causes a stutter in her hips' movement. "Fuck." Needing more skin contact Clarke fumbles with Lexa's shirt. Trying to pull it off. "Lexa move your head."

Lexa nips at the side of her breast.

"Shit. Come on, please?"

Sucking on the flushed skin beneath her lips Lexa waits until she knows it'll leave a mark, before letting go with a pop of her lips. She smirks feeling Clarke's whole body tremble.

"Ass." Breath coming out in pants Clarke finally frees Lexa from her shirt. Unclasping her own bra Clarke tosses it to the floor. Heat gathering down at her core. Kissing Lexa she brings their chests together. Fingers grasp at Lexa's shoulder blades as she rocks their hips together. This time it's Clarke who trails her lips from Lexa's mouth, down her jawline, all the way to her shuddering chest.

Fed up with clothes covering Lexa's body Clarke basically rips the strapless bra off. "I'll buy you a new one," she promises hearing Lexa's huff. Pushing Lexa down onto her back Clarke hopes to at least distract Lexa from the bra by wrapping her lips around an erect nipple. Fingers then toying with the other. Lexa squeaks out Clarke's name. White knuckled fists clutching at the sheets beneath her.

"Did you just squeak?"

"No," Lexa's face is crimson.

"I can't remember if you've squeaked before," Clarke laughs, resting her chin on Lexa's chest.

"S-shut up," Lexa replies. Turning her face away from Clarke's chuckling eyes as she pushes Clarke's head down towards her stomach. Still smiling Clarke kisses down Lexa's stomach. "Don't worry, it was cute," Clarke reassures, mouth never leaving Lexa's skin. Lexa's body quivers below Clarke's lips. Long fingers thread into Clarke's hair. Pulling when Clarke's tongue licks the skin below her belly button.

Instead of going lower Clarke climbs her way back up Lexa's body. Quieting Lexa's protest by covering kiss-swollen lips with her own. Clarke awkwardly tries to free Lexa's legs from her pants. Minimal help coming from Lexa, that is, until Clarke's hand brushed the bare skin of her inner thigh. Sending tingles of electricity straight to her center. Lexa couldn't get her or Clarke's pants off fast enough. Pulsing vagina desperate for greater contact.

Once they're both left only in their underwear Lexa takes Clarke's waist. Pulling Clarke down as she lifts upwards, grinding their hips together. Clarke groans. Biting Lexa's shoulder. Rocking their hips together. Bodies sticky with sweat they move together. Desire heats their skin and takes over their minds.

Neither is sure who frees them of their underwear. But the feel of their fully naked bodies meeting and thrusting into each other enraptures both of them. Their moans and sighs meld together. Lips and fingers all over each other as arousal builds and coils in their bellies. Reaching between them Lexa easily slips a single finger inside Clarke. The gasp she earns from the action as pleasing as the feeling of Clarke wrapped around the digit.

Kissing all the skin she can reach Lexa pumps her finger inside Clarke, working to match Clarke's thrusts. She doesn't mind that the angle kind of hurts. All that matters is that Clarke is chanting her name like a prayer. The fact that her hand also happens to be rubbing into her own clit helps ease any pain as well.

Clarke's speed increases as her desire trickles down Lexa's hand. So very close to bliss Lexa's tries to keep her eyes open. Wanting to see Clarke as she comes. Lexa may think that Clarke is beautiful no matter what, but watching every tense and release of muscles in the blonde's face as Lexa pleasures her is one of her favorite looks. The only image of Clarke that rivals this is the content smile that captures Clarke's lips right before she falls asleep in Lexa's arms.

"God yes." Clarke's body trembles. She's barely keeping herself up above Lexa as she rides out her orgasm. Face falling into Lexa's neck she mutter, "You…you need to…unh."

Grinning Lexa removes her finger from inside Clarke. Slipping it into her mouth to taste Clarke before moving the trembling girl's hand down to her sex. She guides Clarke's thumb against her throbbing clit. Only lasting a few more seconds before her body joins Clarke's as a trembling mess.

For once it is Clarke who's on her way to sleep first. Wrapped up in Lexa's warm embrace her eyes begin to flutter closed. Smiling at the light kisses she's receiving on her face.

"Clarke."

"Hm."

"You're my girlfriend now," Lexa smiles.

"And you're mine," Clarke chuckles.

"Clarke."

"Yes?"

"I'm glad you started winking at me." Not knowing how to respond Clarke presses a lingering kiss on Lexa's lips before snuggling into her neck.


End file.
